A Moment of Clarity...

I had an a-ha moment! I teared up as soon as I realized it.....I get it!

My father and I were not close, but when my mother left us just before going into high school, that changed. He had prostate cancer and he knew he was going to pass, so he left to the Philippines on the first week of Feb 1993 to shield me from his death. He died on 2/13/1993. I was 19 years old when my father passed away.

I loved him very much. He taught me to be strong, be a man, be the best and don't take crap from anyone. My time with him was short. Too short.

I was angry. I was mad at God. Perhaps thats why I really didnt have a need to seek Him back then.

As I was worshipping at service yesterday, I was praising and singing to a song called, "Made me Glad". It had an impact on me. Enough of an impact, I wanted to hold back tears.

When I got home I decided to download the song and lyrics to listen to. I noticed this song was based on a verse in the Bible:

Psalm 144:2 (NLT)
He is my loving ally and my fortress,
my tower of safety, my rescuer,
He is my shield, and I take refuge in him

Thats when it hit me.

We all have a physical father who raises and guides us on earth and we have our Almighty Spiritual Father who raises and guides us.

Although I lost my earthly father and have been sad, angry, and at times hateful. I realized my spiritual Father, Our God, was reaching out to me in a way he knows I respond to. At that moment of listening to the song and reading the verse in the Book, it was clear to me although my earthly father is no longer with me to share his guidance, his wisdom and in my failures and successes. Our God, Our Father was reminding me He is here, with Me always, to lean on, to ask for guidance, for wisdom and to share my successes and failures. He would be my fortress, my shield, my strong tower, my rescuer, my loving Father.

To my earthly father Romeo - I truly miss you and love you.
To my God the Father - Thank you for reminding me I am not Fatherless.